Don’t Trash, Converse to Learn
Sculpted by Nancy Schön
In my previous entry, I shared my son’s pile of “treasure” which some might perceive as trash. Using that metaphor as a segue, I offer some communication gems that can help us draw out treasure from an exchange.
In the Society for Organizational Learning’s journal “Reflections“, Raymond D. Jorgensen shares “five guidelines for learning conversations.” He credits Sue Miller-Hurst for developing these communication disciplines. They are as follows:
- Listen for understanding. Allow the true intent of your hearing to be to understand what the person is trying to say. Dispense with other objectives until you really grasp the full picture of their words.
- Speak from the heart. Fill the silence, not just to fill the silence, but to contribute in a way that genuinely reflects who you are, and what you wish to add to the greater understanding.
- Suspend judgment. Procrastinate your assumptions, opinions. Shelve your rightness temporarily – at least until later.
- Hold space for differences. Be inclusive of alternate viewpoints. Draw out those who are silent. Actively emphasize diversity of perspectives as a door to learning.
- Slow down the inquiry. Let the dialogue breathe within silence. Don’t try to fill every moment with words.
What could emerge in dialogue for you if you practiced these disciplines?
A bit more on dialogue:
http://www.co-intelligence.org/P-dialogue.html
http://www.david-bohm.net/dialogue/